Celebrating Love for People with Disabilities
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and connection. However, in many Asian communities, people with disabilities often face barriers to pursuing relationships due to stigma and societal neglect.
Many mistakenly believe that individuals with physical disabilities lack romantic desires or the ability to form meaningful relationships. I experienced this firsthand before my marriage and even after, as colleagues often questioned how a person with a physical disability could live with a partner. Our research in Pakistan’s urban and rural areas found that families often view girls with disabilities as fragile or incapable, negatively impacting their lives. Some are even exploited in false relationships, left abandoned after having children. These harmful stereotypes label people with disabilities as “incapable” or “unsuitable” partners, leading to their exclusion from romantic and marital opportunities. Some also assume that relationships should only exist between people with the same disabilities, such as deaf individuals only dating other deaf people or blind individuals only dating the blind.
Others infantilize people with disabilities, treating them as if they are children who don’t need or shouldn’t have romantic relationships. This attitude disregards their right to experience love and intimacy like anyone else, including those with Down syndrome.
The Need for Inclusive Education
Change begins with schools. Schools must provide disability-friendly relationship education, families should support autonomy, and media should represent individuals with disabilities as capable of love. Campaigns like Love Without Limits in South Korea showcase inspiring stories of couples who challenge societal barriers.
Sex education is often considered taboo in many Asian countries. Without proper sex education, not only are people with disabilities discriminated against, but young children also become more vulnerable to abuse. Relationship education rarely accommodates their needs, leaving them unprepared to navigate relationships safely. Worse, materials often lack accessibility features such as sign language support or simplified guides for those with learning differences. Studies show that individuals with disabilities face higher risks of abuse, highlighting the urgent need for inclusive resources.
Breaking the Dating Taboo
In many Asian cultures, dating is considered sinful, leading to resistance from society. In India, for example, extremist groups have attacked couples in public. Even in more developed Asian countries, families and caregivers sometimes discourage people with disabilities from dating, fearing harm or misunderstanding. Interviews across Asia reveal that many individuals have been told to “wait until you’re older” or to “focus on other things.” A 40-year-old man with a developmental disability shared, “My parents told me I wasn’t ready for a relationship—even at my age.” Such attitudes reinforce the myth that people with disabilities don’t understand love or deserve companionship, emphasizing the need for independent living in Asia.
Despite these challenges, activists and organizations are working to change perceptions. In Japan and India, workshops on relationships for disabled youth are becoming more common. Online communities across Southeast Asia are creating safe spaces where people with disabilities can share their stories and experiences.
Valentine’s Day reminds us that love is for everyone. As one young woman with cerebral palsy put it, “Love isn’t about ability—it’s about connection.” By challenging stereotypes and improving education, we can ensure that people with disabilities are included in the conversation. This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate love in all its forms and work toward a world where everyone, regardless of ability, can experience it fully.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate love in all its forms—and work toward a world where everyone, regardless of ability, can experience it fully. Valentine's Day is to show love to loved ones, including family, relatives, parents, offspring, spouses, and partners.
Tips for People with Disabilities are not in any relationship to Celebrate Valentine’s Day:
- Spend time with your loved ones.
- Practice self-love and schedule a self-care day.
- Make plans with friends.
- Volunteer with your favorite NGO/DPO.
- Exchange gifts with friends and family.
- Join or organize a group activity.
- Take a break from social media, screens, and alcohol for the day.
- Call friends you haven’t spoken to in a while.
- Socialize and meet new people.
Love is universal, and everyone deserves to experience it in their own way. Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a celebration of inclusivity and acceptance.
